Tuesday, 31 January 2012

ideal relationship begins with an honest assessment of yourself

Finding your ideal relationship begins with an honest assessment of yourself. This involves a full understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and knowing what you can offer in a relationship. If you are a person with complete self-confidence, you should have the courage to objectively and impartially view yourself as you really are, not as you wish you could be. You just have to accept the truth about yourself.

You are likely to have your distinctive characteristics and qualities, and those which you have developed till this moment. These make you very worthy of a close relationship. You tend to attract someone who shares many of your characteristics, and unlikely to attract one who is so different in character. If you want to attract an outstanding person who is very much better than an average person, you have to be one yourself.

It’s important that you be carefully selective about whom you want to closely associate yourself with. It’s in your best interests to mix with the right people, and stay away from those who are negative, those who are repeatedly critical of others and those who constantly complain about anyone and anything. What you want are people who accept you for who you are, those who actively support what you do and those with whom you share mutual respect.

Building trust in a relationship is just as important. Without trust a relationship is unlikely to last long. What is needed to cement a relationship is mutual trust. When you trust someone you tend to like him or her more and this serves to strengthen the close bond that exists between you and the other parties. The more people you can get to know well, the more opportunities you are presented with, some of which could help you in your career or business.


The greater the trust you inspire in other people, the higher is your level of credibility. This is more so in the area of business. If you yourself are a businessman, there’s bound to be strong co-operation to help one another build up each other’s businesses and the mutual exchange of ideas and information that is conducive to the growth of your business.

Listening is an important part of a relationship. It shows that you care. Do not talk when you are listening. Interrupting is rude and is an indication of lack of consideration for others. Active listening involves listening attentively with an occasional nod of the head. By listening a lot more than you talk, you show to the other person that you have things to learn from him or her, and you are not claiming to know everything.

Self-esteem is a desirable quality to possess when you are in a relationship. Self-esteem is about how you feel about or value yourself. Your self-esteem comes from self-respect. When you have respect for yourself, you do have respect for other people too. The others reciprocate by respecting you just as much. This means your outer being is a clear reflection of your inner being. Mutual respect leads to better relationship.

In your every interaction with people, always remember that people want to feel important and valued. You are no exception. How do you feel when others make you feel important and valued? You need to do the same to others. Ensure that the things you do and say make them feel good about themselves. Chances are they reciprocate and you have the same good feelings. What could possibly be better in a relationship than to have two or more people feeling the same emotion, or doing the same thing to or for each other? The result would be a deepened relationship based on mutual respect, trust and understanding.

When you feel you have met a person who is perfect for you, you take the specific steps to develop and carefully nurture the relationship. Instead of allowing things to happen to you, you can make the relationship happen in the way you want it to be with proper consideration for the other person’s feelings. If you intimidate or coerce your partner into acceding to your demand, it would spell disaster for the relationship.

Focus your attention on being a good friend to others and you are surprised by the number of friends you have. One good way to build up a relationship is to show you are genuinely interested in the other person. He or she is highly likely to respond in like manner and this can only strengthen your relationship.

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