Stop living in the past!!

We know the past is gone and there isn’t much we can do about it, yet we spend considerable amount of time thinking of the past, and often wish things could have been different and better. Everyone does it not without their own good reasons. To some, recalling a past event still causes them emotional or mental suffering or distress. For others, it’s a feeling of pleasure or deep affection for a period in the past.

Most often we feel a lot of anger towards someone for something they did to us or for their failure to do something for us. It could have made an enormous difference to our life if they had not done or had done that something for us. Or one of or both our parents treated us very badly as a child. Whatever the reason, we are unforgiving and that precisely is the reason that a past event can engross our mind to the exclusion of other thoughts. That is unhealthy mentally unless we learn to forgive and free ourselves.

There are times we harbour a feeling of sadness and guilt about something we did or something we didn’t do. We disclosed to a friend some highly personal information which we later regretted telling. Or we delayed our last monthly visit to our mother and she passed away before we could visit her. Since then, we have been feeling the sharp pang of regret for delaying the visit as if we knew beforehand of her impending demise. Such feelings of guilt and sorrow can only continue to haunt us for as long as we remember or think of it.

What is done cannot be undone. What is done happened in the past and the past cannot be undone. By looking to the past, we are perpetuating our mental pain. It’s perfectly all right to learn from the past but it is certainly not so to be obsessed by events in the past. We continue to be a helpless victim if we allow something that took place in the past to be the main thought in our mind, causing other things to be forgotten. If you believe in living your life to the full, it is the now that is important; the past doesn’t matter any more.

It is acceptable to go back to the past and enjoy those happy moments. Some tunes make you remember past events. They really bring back vivid memories of, say, an evening you spent strolling along a beach with a friend who was very dear to you. Having a feeling of pleasure however should not at the same time be to the extent of causing you to feel a slight sadness or arousing your feelings in an exaggerated way about things that happened in the past.

In order not to let the past be a source of pain to you, you need to forgive others and yourself. You vow to avoid repeating your past mistakes. At the same time, you forget all the old grudges and never again to harbour a grudge against anyone. Forgiveness frees you from needless suffering caused by mental and emotional pain. Stop yourself from living in the past and concentrate on the present moment which is all you have now to lead a happy and healthy life.

ideal relationship begins with an honest assessment of yourself

Finding your ideal relationship begins with an honest assessment of yourself. This involves a full understanding of your strengths and weaknesses and knowing what you can offer in a relationship. If you are a person with complete self-confidence, you should have the courage to objectively and impartially view yourself as you really are, not as you wish you could be. You just have to accept the truth about yourself.

You are likely to have your distinctive characteristics and qualities, and those which you have developed till this moment. These make you very worthy of a close relationship. You tend to attract someone who shares many of your characteristics, and unlikely to attract one who is so different in character. If you want to attract an outstanding person who is very much better than an average person, you have to be one yourself.

It’s important that you be carefully selective about whom you want to closely associate yourself with. It’s in your best interests to mix with the right people, and stay away from those who are negative, those who are repeatedly critical of others and those who constantly complain about anyone and anything. What you want are people who accept you for who you are, those who actively support what you do and those with whom you share mutual respect.

Building trust in a relationship is just as important. Without trust a relationship is unlikely to last long. What is needed to cement a relationship is mutual trust. When you trust someone you tend to like him or her more and this serves to strengthen the close bond that exists between you and the other parties. The more people you can get to know well, the more opportunities you are presented with, some of which could help you in your career or business.

The greater the trust you inspire in other people, the higher is your level of credibility. This is more so in the area of business. If you yourself are a businessman, there’s bound to be strong co-operation to help one another build up each other’s businesses and the mutual exchange of ideas and information that is conducive to the growth of your business.

Listening is an important part of a relationship. It shows that you care. Do not talk when you are listening. Interrupting is rude and is an indication of lack of consideration for others. Active listening involves listening attentively with an occasional nod of the head. By listening a lot more than you talk, you show to the other person that you have things to learn from him or her, and you are not claiming to know everything.

Self-esteem is a desirable quality to possess when you are in a relationship. Self-esteem is about how you feel about or value yourself. Your self-esteem comes from self-respect. When you have respect for yourself, you do have respect for other people too. The others reciprocate by respecting you just as much. This means your outer being is a clear reflection of your inner being. Mutual respect leads to better relationship.

In your every interaction with people, always remember that people want to feel important and valued. You are no exception. How do you feel when others make you feel important and valued? You need to do the same to others. Ensure that the things you do and say make them feel good about themselves. Chances are they reciprocate and you have the same good feelings. What could possibly be better in a relationship than to have two or more people feeling the same emotion, or doing the same thing to or for each other? The result would be a deepened relationship based on mutual respect, trust and understanding.

When you feel you have met a person who is perfect for you, you take the specific steps to develop and carefully nurture the relationship. Instead of allowing things to happen to you, you can make the relationship happen in the way you want it to be with proper consideration for the other person’s feelings. If you intimidate or coerce your partner into acceding to your demand, it would spell disaster for the relationship.

Focus your attention on being a good friend to others and you are surprised by the number of friends you have. One good way to build up a relationship is to show you are genuinely interested in the other person. He or she is highly likely to respond in like manner and this can only strengthen your relationship.

Alasan atau Standard?

Harta atau cinta? yang mana satu penting dalam hidup kita? Ada orang kata cinta tak boleh dibawa kemana-mana. Sekarang bukan macam dalam cerita P.Ramlee, kerana cinta sanggup bergadai nyawam lari ikut lelaki, tinggalkan keluarga. Tapi bukankah masih lagi ada dan sejarah tetap berulang. 

Some said you can't have it both, selalunya jika kita mengejar cinta, kemungkinan besar kita tidak akan mendapat orang yang benar2 beharta, dan kiranya kita mengejar harta, amatlah sukar untuk kita mendapat cinta yang sejati. Tapi wujud atau tidak cinta sejati sesama makhluk? yang pasti ada cinta sejati kepada Pencipta, dan itu pasti. 

Walaupun tanpa cinta sejati masih lagi ramai yang sanggup lari ke lombok, hidup dalam kesusahan, berlantaikan tanah dan berbumbungkan langit semata-mata untuk bersama lelaki yang dicintai. Pastinya lelaki yang memiliki akan merasa bangga kerana walaupun hidup dalam kedaifan dan kekurangan, masih lagi ada gadis muda yang sanggup menjadi isteri mereka walaupun pada akhirnya si isteri akan menyesal dan minta diselamatkan.

KUALA LUMPUR – Gara-gara lari bersama seorang lelaki Lombok dek panahan cinta 11 tahun lalu, akhirnya Norzuliyani Alias, 29, pulang ke pangkuan keluarga kerana tidak lagi dapat menahan perasaan kerinduan yang teramat sangat kepada ibu dan bapanya.
Wanita itu selamat kembali ke tanah air petang semalam, hasil usaha sama Biro Aduan Komuniti Pemuda UMNO Malaysia dengan kerjasama Wisma Putra dan Ahli Dewan Undangan Negeri Hulu Besut, Nawi Mohammad.
Norzuliyani yang berasal dari Felcra Keruak, Hulu Besut, Terengganu memberitahu, beliau tidak akan kembali ke Lombok lagi dan kepulangannya telah mendapat izin daripada suaminya.
“Sepanjang saya tinggal di sana, saya tidak mempunyai apa-apa masalah, tidak pernah dipukul dan hanya diminta tidak bekerja oleh suami kerana perlu menguruskan keluarga,” katanya ketika ditemui pada sidang media di Pejabat Biro Aduan Komuniti Pemuda UMNO Malaysia di sini semalam.
Mengenang kembali detik lari ke Lombok pada September 1998, ceritanya, dia ketika itu berusia 17 tahun bersama suaminya menaiki bas ke Johor Bahru dan tinggal selama seminggu di bandar raya itu sebelum mengambil bot menuju ke Dumai, Sumatera.
Itu cerita tentang orang yang mencari cinta, tapi tak kurang jugak dengan mereka yang mereka yang mengejar harta dan menyesal kerana tidak mendapat cinta.. Mungkin mereka berfikir dengan harta mereka boleh merasa bahagia dan tidak akan terluka. dan pada saat manis pemulaan mereka lupa kebahagiaan ini sebenarnya hanyalah sementara. 

Seorang rakan pernah berpesan, "cinta kerana harta akan membawa kepada kehancuran, bila tiada lagi harta cinta akan pudar dan kamu akan ditinggalkan" dan rupanya pesanan rakan itu amat benar sekali. Cinta material bukan sesuatu yang mudah... 

Pernah juga terdengar suami ditinggalkan isteri kerana jatuh muflis, dan aga juga isteri ditinggalkan suami setelah kikis semua hartanya. Fenomena ini bukan hanya paparan sekadar drama swasta di kaca tv, tetapi senario sebenar yang berlaku di sekeliling kita. 

Kita boleh nafikan, dan berkata 'aku cintakan dia bukan keran harta' tetapi berapa ramai yang sebegitu? ada senario yang pinangan ditolak kerana si lelaki kerjayanya tidak sehebat si gadis, dan ada juga keluarga lelaki tidak mahu menerima si gadis kerana dia hanya lulusan sekolah menengah. 

Jadi tepuk dada tanya iman, bagaimana kita dan apakah yang terkandung dalam pemikiran kita seharian... bagi aku... 'thing's must be simple, love her and accept her the way she is' ... 

Exam

harini aku exam... huhu... amatlah susah nak ckap . bleh lepas ke tidak..
dah laa study ikut suke jer... hehe
apa pun aku harap aku dapat buat sehabis baik...
bukan mudah nak dpat seat nak ambik exam.. kalau tak lepas maknanya kena tunggu sebulan lagi baru boleh reseat.. tu pun kalau boleh hahaha...

Sketch # 5 : Aida

Sketch # 3 : Ayah

Sketch # 2 : Public Figure

Sketch # 1: Tun Mahathir

Thinking On Your Feet: Staying cool under pressure

When you can translate your thoughts and ideas into coherent speech quickly, you ensure your ideas are heard. You also come across as being confident, persuasive, and trustworthy.

Confidence is key when learning to think on your feet. When you present information, give an opinion or provide suggestions, make sure you know what you are talking about and that you are well informed. This doesn't mean you have to know everything about everything, but if you are reasonably confident in your knowledge of the subject, that confidence will help you to remain calm and collected even if you are put unexpectedly in the hot seat.

The secret of thinking on your feet is to be prepared: learn some skills and tactics, and do some preparation for situations that might put you under pressure. Then when you do find yourself faced with unexpected questions and debate, you'll be ready to draw on these tactics and preparation, and so stay poised while you compose your thoughts and prepare your response. Here are some tips and tactics:

you have to be as relaxed as possible, in order for your voice to remain calm and for your brain to "think".